Mazoo

My uncle once told me about a man named Gordon Mazoo who lived under a bridge in northern Papua New Guinea. Mazoo was famous for his representational depictions of American Politicians that he would paint on the underside of the bridge, from Ernest Tankleton to Geroge W.H. Buhs. His most famous painting, of notorious Iowa senator Don Fretalas, was so lifelike that native passerby would often be frozen in their tracks when attempting to cross the bridge. On more than one occasion, people strolling over the bridge were stricken so violently by Mazoo’s paintings that they would collapse over the sides of the bridge and be horrendously mauled by the orphan children in the river below. When asked how these passerby even saw the paintings if they were on the underside of the bridge, my uncle stated, “What you need is a good chicken salad sandwich. That’ll clear everything up.”