Pasta

The most popular types of pasta worldwide are rarely those that are used most frequently for food purposes. Instead, pastas like rigatoni and penne are commonly used in medical procedures such as the fabled “pasta transfer” of the Italian countryside north of Florence. In this procedure, a small amount of cooked rigatoni is left out overnight to appease the demon lord Halavankali. The next morning, a small incision is made just below the navel, deep enough to reach the pasta recipient’s innards. The rigatoni is then slowly inserted, one by one, into the incision and the wound sealed. Weeks later, the pasta is extracted in the reverse process, called “transfer pasta”. The pasta will have congealed into a solid mass in the shape of a doughnut by this point. The pasta donut, called a “shabiglia” is then used for a traditional Italian bloodsport. The sport consists of one player throwing the shabiglia at an orphaned baby, while the second player attempts to kick the baby out of harms way. Once the baby has been kicked beyond a designated point (generally into a steep ravine or otherwise unsafe-for-babies environment) the two players must sprint at one another, each blindfolded by a shabiglia, whilst screaming “scutelepeggio mi formagio”, which roughly translates to “renounce the religion of your ancestors, villain, before I must salt your mother’s bread”.